I try to redirect my thoughts so I'm not thinking of you. I'd be better off alone. But I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you. Even though I KNOW that'll never happen. You'd never have it. You'd never have me. I don't really know what I did. It was so good before wasn't it? You seemed happy. But maybe that was part of the whole act. Honestly. Was it me? Did I not treat you right? Did I not love you enough. I thought I did. Or was it just that I was giving you any. That's what ever one else said. It sure seemed that way. I'm not one to believe what everyone says. I have a mind of my own. You claim you want to see me. I don't want you to think it's because I don't want to see you. I'm afraid. I'm scared that if I'm having these feelings again now. What will happen If I see you again. I don't want to love you. No! I know you don't read into things like this. And I bet that you would think I'm totally crazy and why even waste your time with someone like me.. I'm still trying to pretend that at one time it was real....